heroin chic, i mean dick

dan had dabbled with heroin on and off for a round 1 year (that i knew of). i was so naive. i remember dan and bad benny came to meet me at newtown station. i had finished work in north sydney. i was working at sydneys best agency, george pattersons. dan had a single red rose and was showing me alot of love. by this stage i was aware of the effects of heroin. especially with dan. alarm bells deafened me but i said nothing and returned the love. we were walking down king street and i asked the boys how their day was. then vomit all over the foot path. dan was spuing in the middle of king street. nothing unusual for the area. bad benny said 'i had that vomiting bug the other day dude, you must have caught it too'. i was furious. this had been a topic of ours on and off as i said for a year. every time he did it i would give him one more chance, threatening the next time i would leave. such empty threats. i loved that boy. he had a beautiful heart. he had had such a loveless parent less life. he had come through such adversities. and i thought he was gorgeous and cool.
i went off my nut. i told them both i was no idiot and i knew as soon as i had seen them they were stoned. denial followed suit till we got home and dan and i were alone.
this continued on for another couple of months. by this stage a few of my close friends had started to use, i thought casually, later i found out the real truth.
my heroin virginity was lost one night when milky and vanessa came over to our house. we shared a 5 bedroom place with 7 of us. we were all close friends and none of them used heroin and did not like anything about it.
they produced a packet of smack and had a new fit box. they asked us if we would like any. 'no way' was my reply. dan told me it would be safe and it was not as bad as i thought. milky and vanessa gave me the same spiel.
'ok then'
dan shot me up.
the warm rush started in my chest and made its way to all my extremities. fuck, i had never felt this way. maybe when i was a kid and that pure joy, love felling you would get from simple joys or a parents cuddle.
all my sadness vanished. all my worries vanished. i could switch my brain off. i could just think happy thoughts.
this was magic tool. i fell in love with it immediately.
i remember dans joy at how much i enjoyed it.
all i felt was love for him. love for my friends milky and vanessa. love for everything. i felt relaxed for the first time, perhaps in my life.